Cock blocked by a dog ft @Story Party Tour – True Dating Stories


– So, back when I was dating girls. (cheering) Yeah, come on, it’s obvious. (cheering) So that was one of the reasons
I stopped dating girls. (laughing) So, I’m desperate, like
I’m not your first choice, I’m like your way too
drunk or way too desperate. And I know that. And I’ve come to terms with it. So, I’ve been chatting
with this beautiful woman. So she looked in the pictures though. And then I learned she
was a Photoshop artist. (laughing) However, so we chatted
and I traveled and we met. And I’ve spent all those money
traveling, so yeah, whatever. And we talked. Well, she was do-able. (laughing) But she was really nice. We could’ve talked for hours. But then she invited me to her place. And we go there, we open the door and there’s this giant pitbull. (growling) At me. I’m shit scared at this point. I wanna run back to my mom and I want her to cook
me dinner, and yeah. But as traveled, as given
all those money, so. I walk in and she’s like, oh she has a temper but
she’ll get used to you. And like, I make one step and the pitbull is right next to me. (growling) And I’m like, okay, okay. I peed a little. (laughing) So, at this point, she’s like, no, no, don’t worry, she
hasn’t bit anyone but my ex. I’m like, okay. So I walk in, we drink. And the pitbull is still (growling). But at one point, the pitbull comes to me, smells me and all that,
and starts dry humping me. Well, then she’s like, oh she likes you! And I’m like, oh, it’s a she! Great! Great! So, then I progressed and
I had a bottle of wine. So right now, this girl
is totally do-able. (laughing) And we moved everything to the bedroom and we’re doing what we’re doing. And suddenly, I hear a phone ring and then I hear the footsteps. The dog comes into the bedroom
and spits out her phone. And sits there, and watches awkwardly. So my boner went away totally. And everything stopped from there. And I’m like, okay, I’m gonna
let you finish that call and I’m gonna grab a shower. That was the worst idea that night cause I went to the shower. I got a great shower and processed
everything that happened. Now I’m relaxed and I’m like, I’m gonna get the fuck out of here. So I got my towel. I opened the door. And then see the fucking dog. (growling) I’m butt-naked at that point. It’s like a sausage to that dog. And I’m running around this apartment. It’s totally ridiculous. Got dressed as fast as I could. And I’ve never told this story to anyone. So, feel privileged. (cheering) – One more time for Peter here! (cheering) And to see Peter.

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