MEDICAL EMERGENCY ON TOUR!


– Hey everyone, I’m on tour. I thought it might be fun to do a kind of a day in the life on a tour bus. So Erik, will you be my cameraman? – You want me to film you? – I can’t film myself, this thing’s heavy! I’m pregnant. – Only if you give me full access. I’m talking about (bleeping). – Love! Let’s go. – [Eric] All access means toilet. – Part of the glamorous
life is doing your laundry. Gotta get my Tide Pod. Not for eating, only for washing. Let’s go. Thank you. (burping) Here we go, Joe. Ew, look how like molded
and gross that looks. – [Erik] It’s riveting stuff. (screaming) – All my panties just fell on the floor. Gross. Pregnancy panties are gross. – [Eric] Why? – You don’t wanna know. It’s a war zone. Start. Riveting. – [Erik] So where are we? – Toledo, Ohio. We’re halfway through with the tour. – [Eric] Where are we actually? – What? Oh, we’re in my dressing room right now. What do you mean, where are we actually? We’re gonna do a sound
check and then do a show. That’s the Tea. Oh, that lens is really dirty. That’s better. (upbeat electronic music) I came here when I did my Summer
Camp tour three years ago. Someone pooped recently in this theater and like now the whole
theater smells like diarrhea. So someone, someone had sharp diarrhea. Sharp is the best way to describe it. – And action. (upbeat electronic music) ♪ Meatballs are in my hole ♪ (singing opera music) – You’re filming me looking at my phone? Riveting. – [Erik] What are you looking at? – Insta story, Kylie
Jenner, Casperly, Mama B, Girl Love, Angela Kinsey, Kim Kardash. And Carissa Alvarado, who’s also pregnant. Always looks beautiful and
perfect, as a pregnant woman, and I’m like shook after the course. Sometimes I feel really gross, but she always looks really good. I feel like some girls
look pretty pregnant. – [Erik] You. – And I just look large. Isn’t that wild? – [Eric] Are you sticking it out? – No, I’m not sticking it out. Do I look pregnant? – [Eric] Yeah. – I feel like in the last
week it just got real big. Preggers. So now it’s time where I sign posters, and do my hair for the meet and greet. Riveting drama. I feel like some people on
tour just have like drama. I don’t really have drama. – [Eric] Mash cut to drama. (yelping) That is my dress for my show. Stop wearing my sparkle gown. – You always are so selfish. And I do not need to take this from you. (yelping) You slap my face one more time, so help me God, I will– (yelping) I’m taking this back to Target. – I thought you said
you got it at Express! – It’s yours bitch. You know it’s from Target. Or was it from Ross? – What do I look like, Angela Kinsey? (laughing) It’s not from Target. Stop filming! (grunting) (upbeat electronic music) – [Erik] Can you smile while you do it? You look really pissed. – I’m just concentrating. Oh yeah. I just found a Snickers in my backpack. I’m starving. – [Erik] Never seen you
more excited about anything. – [Man] And what’s for dinner? – Arby’s. Today, I’ve eaten two Chewy
bars, Welch’s grape snack, pizza, an entire bag of popcorn,
half a box of Wheat Thins, M&Ms, carrots, snap peas,
strawberries, and a Snickers. – [Eric] And it’s noon. (laughing) – Hi guys! (audience cheering) Erik’s filming me for videos. Say hi to the internet. – [Audience] Hi! – We’re gonna do pictures in a minute, but pictures go so fast,
’cause there’s a lot of you. So, that’s why I do the Q&As before, so we can kinda hang out and
really get to know each other. So, if anyone has questions, we can go ahead and get started. – [Erik] You guys excited to meet Miranda? – Oh my God.
– Yeah! (silly electronic music) – [Erik] What are you
going through right now? – A lot, I’m so overwhelmed. This is too much. I can’t do this. – Hi guys, it’s Miranda. – Haters back off. – That’s so good! You’re gonna put me out of a job. (record scratching) I pooped a little tiny bit. That’s a big deal for a pregnant woman. – [Erik] All access. – Stop! – [Erik] Oh, it stinks. That smells. Took a second but then, woo. – These are all stuck together. How old are these? Don’t care. – [Eric] What are you doing now? – Checking the stage. Always check your props. I learned that in theater. So, I go through and check all my props and make sure they’re
exactly where I want them. What should I wear? Sparkle queen R2D2, or
sparkle queen for the rainbow? Or sparkle, oh this one’s too wrinkled. Or big mamacita, or
peek-a-boo here’s my tummy. – Splash of cream and she put– – Milk?
– A whole cow. And I’m so furious. These people do not
know, have one effing job and they do not know how to do it. – Well, the show’s a half
hour later than it usually is. But, there’s a lot of bugs in this room because somebody left
the fruit and vegetables open during the meet and greet. – [Erik] I went and got it
for you and opened it for you. – Love, you. – [Erik] And remember to
close your fruit tray. – You didn’t close my fruit trays. – [Erik] Do you understand
what you sound like right now? – There’s fruit flies in here. – [Erik] Am I fired? – No. There’s a… It’s every day, bro. (horn honking) What a good way to go. Death by Sour Punch Straw. Oh, I didn’t get him. Now they’re all flying. Is PETA gonna come after me? I love animals, but I just don’t like little fruit flies that
keep flying in my face, and eating my food. They’re everywhere. It’s actually showtime. Definitely should be on stage right now. – [Erik] Does she do this every show? – Yeah. I think it’s like nervous poops and pees. You know, like right
before you go on stage, just to give you that
tingle in your dingle, you gotta release. – Everyone, everyone good? – Showtime. (audience cheering) I just announced recently
that I’m having a little boy. (audience cheering) There’s a tiny little penis in there. (audience laughing) (heavy electronic music) (bell ringing) (audience cheering) – [Erik] She’s safe. – Fudge muffins. My hips hurt, my shoulder. Oh, you’re filming. – [Eric] Fudge muffins? – Fudge muffins! My shoulder hurts so bad. I feel like my body just gave out. My hips hurt, too. That’s a fun thing about being pregnant, is that your hips are
stretching and widening, so that you can push
out a huge fricking baby out of your vaheen. And in the middle of the show, my hips started like
throbbing and hurting so bad. Woo. And my shoulder pain is coming back. I’m a mess. (crowd cheering) (laughing) Don’t, you’re too close. I’m in so much pain. I have had like a tendonitis
tear in my rotator cuff issue for years, and
it was getting better, and then I got pregnant
and it got way better. And like, I haven’t had much pain at all. And then, all of a sudden,
the last couple weeks, the pain started to come back. And tonight on stage, I
don’t know what I did, but I destroyed my shoulder. But what’s fun about pregnancy is you can’t take anything for it. So, I just get to be in pain. That’s just the machine
making my muscles do that. So, tour life, so fun. Medical emergency. Emotional. Should we do that as the thumbnail? Emotional, dramatic, and I’m like… And then me crying. (dramatic music) Does that look like a good one? – [Eric] Yeah. – Sorry, y’all. Tour’s not that interesting. It’s interesting for me, it’s fun. We have a five hour drive tonight to, where are we going? Louisville, Kentucky. Hopefully I’ll get some Z’s on the bus. Oh my God! Oh my God, oh my God! So many people are here tonight. Oh my goodness. Look at all the cuties. Go to bed, it’s very late! Love you. Oh my gosh, look at the little teensy, little tiny, teeny one! Oh my goodness. Look at this little one, she’s gonna trip! They’re not gonna give up. Bye, love you. Tour life. – It’s wild. – That’s tour life on the bus. Everyone’s just on their phones,
their computers, working. At least, that’s what
tour life is tonight, because we have a show tomorrow. So, going through the beds. If you guys want a full bus tour, you can get it on my vlog channel. It’s a boy. Someone gave me this at
the meet and greet tonight and I don’t know what it is. Okay, we’re going to bed. Thanks for watching this dramatic day where there was fights, slapping,
an emergency health issue, flies, there were deaths, fly deaths. A lot has happened today. So, now you know how wild the
tour gets as a pregnant woman. It’s just the wildest thing in the world. Riveting, this is so riveting. Bye, guys. Buy my book. (piano music) ♪ Love, give them your love ♪ ♪ Tell them they’re loved ♪ ♪ From your toy computer ♪ ♪ I love you ♪ ♪ I love you ♪ ♪ I love you ♪ ♪ I love you ♪ ♪ I love you ♪ ♪ I love you ♪ ♪ So much ♪

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