Mom on Vacation


It’s 6:05am let’s go. We gotta go, it’s vacation, I wanna relax. Bring the mace spray, someone saw a bear. You gotta drink water. Don’t talk to me about plastic. I know. Let’s go, we’re leaving in five. Who brought the cooler? Who wants cheese on their burger? It’s vacation, I’m not doing laundry. Who’s ready to go down to the beach? I’m not packing a lot. Just 20 egg salads each. Ow, sand’s hot. Sand’s hot, careful on the sand it’s hot. We’re going on the boat, woohoo! Oh god, the clouds. Take your shoes off when you come in, you’re
dragging in the sand. Beautiful day. Shh, they’re not up yet. The bugs are crazy, who’s got the bug spray? They’re asleep, they’re still asleep. Whose pants are these? You forgot the mace! Someone grab the tube! If you’re sandy, sit here. I forgot the chips.Your cousin’s asleep. We’re gonna miss out on the day. It’s getting choppy. It’s choppy. Weatherman’s wrong again! Let’s go, get out of the bathroom. They get paid a lot of money to be wrong,
I’ll tell you that much. Just put it right on your back. You don’t have to carry anything else. Grab the cooler. Course, the one day we go to the beach, it’s
freezing. We gotta fill up with gas. Hi! How are you? You put it on top of a candle. Bring the mace spray! You gotta secure your things. Look at that bathing suit. She doesn’t leave much to the imagination. You’re up! I don’t care if it doesn’t look cool for your
Instagram. Wear this. I got eggs. Cooked em 40 minutes ago, they’re ready. I caved, I’m doing a load. My friend Theresa, she went to the beach. Pack a sweatshirt. It’s SPF 75. You see your cousin’s tattoo? These things? They’ll capsize. Don’t get one of those, will you? The sun’s coming back out. Huh, maybe the weatherman was right. Let’s go play Scattegories. Saw a coyote here four years ago, you gotta
be careful. Wow, look at that house. I wonder what he does for a living. Why dont you go play a game with your grandma. It’s cold, cold for July. Who wants something to eat? The sun’s going down. Don’t feed the ducks. Careful on the dock. Summer’s flying by. You blink an eye, it’s August.

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