Weekend Update: Angela Merkel on Donald Trump – SNL


PRESIDENT-ELECT DONALD TRUMP WAS
NAMED TIME MAGAZINE’S PERSON OF THE YEAR FOR 2016.
HERE TO COMMENT IS LAST YEAR’S PERSON OF THE YEAR, GERMAN
CHANCELLOR ANGELA MERKEL. [ APPLAUSE ]
>>HOW ARE YOU?>>GOOD TO BE HERE.
>>SO GOOD TO HAVE YOU. CHANCELLOR, WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT “TIME” CHOOSING DONALD TRUMP?
>>WELL, YOU KNOW, IT KIND OF UNDERMINES THE HONOR FOR ME.
IT’S, LIKE, WINNING THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR PHYSICS, AND THEN THE
NEXT YEAR THEY GET IT TO HUBERSTANK.
2016 HAS BEEN A REAL VOLKSWAGEN. BREXIT, TRUMP.
LEFT ME WITH MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS.
I’M COPING. I’VE SPENT MANY ANIGHT IN MY
BATHTUB WITH MY TWO BEST FRIENDS.
A GLASS OF RIESLING, AND AN ADULT COLORING BOOK.
THE OTHER DAY I COLORED A PEACOCK.
THEN DAVID CAMERON CALLED. HE ALWAYS KNOWS HOW TO CHEER ME
UP. HE SAYS LET’S CALL DONALD TRUMP
AND PRETEND TO BE THE PRESIDENT OF TAIWAN.
>>YEAH. NOW, I HAVE TO ASK, ARE YOU
WORRIED AT ALL ABOUT THE RISE OF NATIONALISM IN AMERICA AND
EUROPE?>>NO.
NATIONALISM IN EUROPE? WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
BESIDES, THAT WAS THE FIRST GERMAN ATTEMPT AT SARCASM.
I’LL WORK ON IT.>>IT WAS GOOD.
IT WAS GOOD. YOU’RE NOT EXCITED THEN, I
ASSUME, ABOUT THE ALT-RIGHT MOVEMENT?
>>AH, YES, IN AMERICA IT’S THE ALT-RIGHT.
IN GERMANY WE CALL IT WHY GRANDPA-PA LIVES IN ARGENTINA
NOW. FORGIVE ME, COLIN.
I MUST LET OUT A GERMAN SCREAM.>>THAT WAS A SCREAM?
>>YES. THAT’S RIGHT.
IN GERMANY WE SHOUT OUR PROBLEMS INTO OUR STOMACHS.
>>SEEMS VERY HEALTHY.>>IT’S GOOD.
>>HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO HILLARY SINCE THE ELECTION?
>>NO, NO. SHE IS SO DEEP IN THE WOODS, I’M
WORRIED SHE’LL COME UPON A CANDY HOUSE.
I HAD SUCH HOPES FOR HILL. I WAS SO SURE WE WERE GOING TO
BE BESTIES, STAYING UP ALL NIGHT EATING JUNK FOOD, PLAYING F
MARRY KILL THE LEADERS OF ASIA. WE WOULD DO EACH OTHER’S MAKEUP,
JUST CHAP STICK AND SUN BLOCK. WATCH OUR FAVORITE MOVIE “BAD
MOMS.” IN GERMANY THIS IS A MOM WHO
LETS HER CHILD GO TO ART SCHOOL. OF COURSE, WE WOULD TALK ABOUT
BARACK. OH, MY BARACK.
♪ WE REMEMBER YOU ♪ ♪ MY BARACK, BARACK OBAMA ♪
>>WE JUST MADE HIS LAST VISIT TO GERMANY AS PRESIDENT, AND I
STOLE ONE OF HIS GLOVES SO HE WOULD HAVE TO COME BACK AND GET
IT. APPARENTLY HE HAS MANY GLOVES.
>>CHANCELLOR, IT’S OKAY. IT’S OKAY.
JUST CHEER UP. CHEER UP.
IT’S THE HOLIDAYS, REMEMBER? IT’S THE HOLIDAYS.
>>YOU’RE RIGHT. YOU’RE RIGHT.
MAYBE I WILL GET SOME OF THE GIFTS ON MY LIST.
THIS YEAR I ASKED FOR WORLD PEACE, A BOWL SO I CAN CUT MY
OWN BANGS, AND A GIFT CERTIFICATE TO MY FAVORITE
STORE, THE WOMEN’S WAREHOUSE. YOU’RE GOING TO LOOK THE WAY YOU
LOOK. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>CHANCELLOR MERKEL, EVERYONE. [ APPLAUSE ]

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