Weekend Update: Anthony Scaramucci FaceTimes the Show (Bill Hader) – SNL


>>>A RACCOON IN NEW YORK CITY
GOT INTO A STICKY SITUATION ON SUNDAY WHEN HE GOT HIS HEAD
STUCK INSIDE A PEANUT BUTTER JAR — WAIT, IS SOMEONE TRYING
TO FACE TIME US RIGHT NOW? REALLY?
[ LAUGHTER ] IT’S ANTHONY SCARAMUCCI?
ARE YOU SERIOUS? I GUESS WE SHOULD TAKE IT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>>YO!
IT’S ME, ANTHONY SCARAMUCCI! THE MOOCH!
I HEARD YOU TWO NUTLESS LIBERAL ASS WIPES MENTIONED MY NAME AND
WHEN I HEAR MY NAME THREE TIMES, I APPEAR LIKE A GOOMBA
BETELGEUSE.>>THANKS FOR CALLING IN, MR.
ANTHONY SCARAMUCCI.>>MOOCH!
>>MR. SCARAMUCCI –>>MOOCH!
>>WERE YOU SURPRISED YOU ONLY LASTED 11 DAYS ON THE JOB?
>>HELL NO. NOT AFTER WHAT I SAID TO THAT
ASS-WIPE IF FROM NEW YORKER WHICH WAS OFF THE REPORT BUT I
GUESS PEOPLE DIDN’T LIKE IT WHEN I SAID THAT — AND LET ME SEE IF
I CAN CLEAN THIS UP FOR PRIME TIME, THAT STEVE BANNON WAS
TRYING TO “S” HIS OWN “C.” AND BY THE BY, I WAS COMPLETELY
MISQUOTED. I DIDN’T SAY BANNON TRIED TO “S”
HIS OWN “C,” HE DID IT, HE MADE CONTACT.
I SAW IT, TONGUE TO TIP. NEXT QUESTION.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>I THINK WE’RE GOOD, BRO.
>>NO, YOU’RE NOT GOOD, BRO. COME ON, EVERYBODY LOVES THE
MOOCH. YOU KNOW HOW YOU MISS ME.
I’M LIKE HUMAN COCAINE. YOU GOT A LITTLE BUMP, I MADE
YOU FEEL EXCITED, I WAS OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM TOO QUICK AND NOW
THAT I’M GONE YOU’RE DEPRISONDE AND EDGY AND YOU’RE TRYING TO
FIGURE OUT HOW TO SCORE SOME MORE SCARAMUCCI.
>>WELL, WE DID HOPE YOU’D STICK AROUND A LITTLE BIT LONGER.
>>ME, TOO, BUT THE MOOCH HAS NO REGRETS, BABY.
ALL I DID WAS SELL MY COMPANY, MISS THE BIRTH OF MY CHILD AND
RUIN MY ENTIRE REPUTATION, ALL TO BE KING OF IDIOT MOUNTAIN FOR
11 DAYS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THE MOOCH IS LOOSE!>>>WELL, AT LEAST IT ALL WORKED
OUT.>>YEAH, IT WORKED.
HANG ON, HEY, YOU GUYS HIRING OVER THERE?
I’M AVAILABLE AND I GOT JOKES NOW.
OKAY, HERE’S ONE FOR FREE. HICKORY DICKORY DOCK, STEVE
BANNON WAS SUCKING HIS [ BLEEP ].
>>WHOA, TOO BAD, I GUESS WE LOST THE CALL.
ANTHONY SCARAMUCCI, EVERYBODY.>>WE LOST IT.
>>>WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE “WEEKEND UPDATE SUMMER
EDITION” AFTER THIS COMMERCIAL BREAK.

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