Weekend Update: Jacob the Bar Mitzvah Boy on Passover 3 – SNL


>>THE 6th NIGHT OF THE JEWISH
HOLIDAY, HERE IS JACOB.>>MY DAD WANTED ME TO GIVE YOU
THESE INSULTS AND ALSO TO REMIND TO YOU WEAR FLIP FLOPS THIS
SUMMER AROUND THE POOL.>>>YOU GOING TO HAVE FUN FOR
PASSOVER? PASSOVER?
>>DURING PASSOVER WE EAT SEVERAL FOOTS THAT ARE SYMBOLIC
OF THE PASSOVER STORY. WE EAT MATSO BECAUSE IT REMINDS
US THAT THE YOU JEWS DIDN’T HAVE TIME FOR THE BREAD TO RISE WHEN
ESCAPING EGYPT. IT TASTES OKAY, BUT IT’S NO PAPA
JOHNS PIZZA.>>YOU DON’T HAVE TO MAKE A
SPEECH. WE CAN HANG OUT AND TALK AS
FRIENDS.>>THE OTHER SYMBOLIC FOODS ARE
THOSE THAT REPRESENTS THE MORTAR USED BY THE SLAVES TO MAKE
BRICKS. THE BRICKS I SCRAPED MY CHIN ON
WHEN I WAS LEARNING TO PLAY BRIDGE AND MY CHAIR COLLAPSED.
SERIOUSLY I WANT TO THANK MY BROTHER FOR HELPING ME GET ON MY
SCRAPES EVEN THOUGH HE CHANGED THE PASSWORD ON MY IPF AND
CHARGED MY $20 TO GET BACK INTO IT.
>>SOMETHING MY BROTHER WOULD DO.
THIS TIME –>>IT REMINDS ME OF WHAT THEY
USED BEFORE THEY ESCAPED. THE BITTER HERBS IS ROMAINE
LETTUCE, BUT IT’S NO PAPA JOHNS PIZZA.
>>YOU ARE REALLY GIVING FREE PRESS TO PAPA JOHNS PIZZA.
IS THAT YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA PLACE?
>>THE ROASTED EGG IS SYMBOLIC OF RENEWAL AND REJUVENATION
WHICH IS ALSO WHAT MY MOM ALWAYS SAYS MY AUNT MADELINE IS DOING
TO HER FACE.>>OH, HEY —
>>FINALLY, GREEN VEGETABLE IS IN SALT WATER TO REPRESENT THE
TEARS OF THE JEWS WHICH IS SAD AND I’M SAD WHEN I THINK ABOUT
HOW I WILL BE GOING AWAY TO CAMP IN THE POCONOS THIS SUMMER AND
LEAVING MY FRIENDS BEHIND. EVEN DEREK JETER WENT TO THE
YANKEES ONE DAY.>>YOU CRYING?
YOU WILL HAVE FUN.>>IN CONCLUSION, I WANT TO
THANK MY COUSINS FOR COMING IN FROM SCOTTSDALE BECAUSE THEY GOT
A FREE FLIGHT FROM COMPLAINING. MY BEST FRIEND WHO EVERYONE
THINKS IS JEWISH, MY UNCLE SIMON EVEN THOUGH MY DAD SAID HE IS
BLINDED TO HIS DEVOTION TO ISRAEL AND I WANT TO DEDICATE
THIS TO MY BUBY WHO MAKES THE BEST MASSO BALL SOUP.
IT’S NO –>>HERE IT COMES.
>>PAPA JOHNS PIZZA.>>YEAH!

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