Weekend Update: Pete Davidson on Donald Trump – SNL


[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
AMERICANS ARE STILL PROTESTING DONALD TRUMP’S PRESIDENCY.
WITH MORE ON THIS, HERE’S PETE DAVIDSON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>>PETE, YOU HAVE SOME FANS.
HOW ARE YOU DOING, PETE?>>PRETTY BAD, COLIN, DOING
PRETTY BAD.>>REALLY?
>>YEAH.>>OH, WELL I KNOW A LOT OF THE
PEOPLE ARE UPSET ABOUT THIS ELECTION.
BUT THEY ENDED UP LEGALIZING WEED IN A COUPLE OF STATES.
THAT’S GOT TO CHEER YOU UP, RIGHT?
>>IT SHOULD. BUT NO IT’S RUINED WEED FOR ME
FOREVER. DONALD TRUMP BEING PRESIDENT IS
SOMETHING I USED TO SAY WHEN I WAS HIGH AND LAUGH AT HOW CRAZY
IT IS. AND I’M HIGH RIGHT NOW AND IT IS
NOT FUNNY. [ LAUGHTER ]
THEY SAID, GIVE TRUMP A CHANCE. AND THE FIRST THING HE DID IS
HIRE A CHIEF STRATEGIST WHO EVERYBODY IS SAYING HATES JEWS.
THEY SAID, “NO, BANNON DOESN’T HATE JEWISH PEOPLE, HE’S WORKED
ALONGSIDE THEM.” YEAH, AND MEL GIBSON DID FOUR
“LETHAL WEAPONS” WITH DANNY GLOVER.
THAT PROVES NOTHING. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>DO YOU THINK THERE COULD BE ANY UPSIDE TO TRUMP BEING
PRESIDENT?>>YEAH, HE’LL PROBABLY REDUCE
CRIME IN THE REAL ESTATE BUSINESS BY NO LONGER WORKING IN
THE REAL ESTATE BUSINESS. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>>WHAT DO YOU THINK THE WORST PART OF HIM BEING PRESIDENT’S
GOING TO BE?>>NOW ANYONE THINKS THEY COULD
RUN FOR OFFICE. EVEN KANYE THINKS HE CAN BE
PRESIDENT. HE’S BEEN SAYING HE LOVES TRUMP,
AND IS GOING TO RUN AGAINST HIM. LIKE HE HEARD PEOPLE SAYING THIS
WAS THE GREATEST THREAT AMERICA’S EVER FACED AND HE WAS
LIKE, “NO, I’M THE GREATEST!” [ LAUGHTER ]
WE AS A COUNTRY NEED TO AGREE THAT IF IT ISN’T OVER A SICK
BEAT WE DON’T WANT TO LISTEN TO ANYTHING KANYE WEST HAS TO SAY
EVER AGAIN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
LET’S BE CLEAR. I’M NOT INNOCENT.
I’VE SAID SOME KANYE-LIKE STUFF. LIKE, A FEW WEEKS AGO I GOT IN A
LITTLE TROUBLE BECAUSE I SAID SOME THINGS ABOUT MY HOMETOWN,
OUR HOMETOWN, STATEN ISLAND. I WAS JUST KIDDING AROUND WHEN I
SAID, HURRICANE SANDY SHOULD HAVE FINISHED THE JOB.
[ AUDIENCE OHS ] [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH. PEOPLE WERE MAD.
BUT TO BE FAIR I WAS RAISED THERE.
YOU KNOW? SO STATEN ISLAND SHOULD KIND OF
SHARE SOME OF THE BLAME. IT WAS A PRETTY STATEN ISLAND
THING TO SAY. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND I WAS GOING TO APOLOGIZE, I THEN SAW THIS.
THIS IS HOW THE FIVE BOROUGHS OF NEW YORK VOTED.
YOU SEE THAT BIG RED OPEN WOUND? THAT’S STATEN ISLAND.
THE HERPES OF BOROUGHS. [ LAUGHTER ]
NOW DO YOU SEE WHY I CAN’T STAND US?
THIS IS WHAT I REALLY WANTED TO SAY.
I KNOW A LOT OF YOU ARE UPSET, SCARED AND SAD, MYSELF INCLUDED.
TO EVERYONE FEELING THAT WAY I THINK IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT TO
HOLD ON TO THAT RAGE AND HOLD ON TO YOUR ANGER AND FRUSTRATION
AND LET IT BUILD AND BUILD SO YOU CAN RELEASE IT AT THE EXACT
RIGHT MOMENT. THANKSGIVING.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOUR FAMILY WANTED TRUMP?
THIS IS WHAT THEY’RE GOING TO HEAR THE WHOLE ENTIRE DAY.
HEY, GRANDPA! CAN YOU TAKE A SECOND AWAY FROM
LOVING HITLER TO PASS THE POTATOES?
HEY, I CAN’T WAIT TO PLAY OUR ANNUAL GAME OF SHEETS VERSUS
SKINS. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND I’LL BE ON THE FRONT LINES, BECAUSE I’M HAVING THANKSGIVING
IN STATEN ISLAND.>>PETE DAVIDSON, EVERYONE.
>>I WAS RIGHT! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

100 Comments

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *